"Ahhhhh! The corner of Cartier and Harpe Way? It's not on the map! Call 911! What?! Even they can't find the address? We're never going to get there..."

That's the conversation I had with hashing virgin Leanne on our way to Hash #108- The Last Saturday Hash before Switching to Monday Nights (catchy title, for sure, I'm surprised it never caught on with the rest of the pack, none of whom seemed to recall the theme of the run that day).

Okay...well, DON'T call 911 when you're having trouble finding the Hash, just because I made the choice, doesn't mean you should (see, I'm special...wink,wink).

It seems I wasn't the only one getting lost, Spits or Swallows got lost too, and that says something! I don't think she's EVER had a hard time finding her way, certainly not while haring her own run through Birchwood Trails about two years ago and managing to get so lost she stopped marking trails, the pack got stranded and went home while she remained trapped in the woods with no sense...(of direction). Ahem...anyway...

We finally found Medieval Cowboy standing on the boulders in the far northeast corner of Timberlea Athletic Field (hmmm...those directions might have helped!)

In attendance was the hare, M.C, Colonel Urinal, Soroosh, Spits or Swallows, Cantseeshit, myself (TnC) and the virgin Leanne.

The trail took us to the HashHold almost immediately...yayyyyyy!!! Free booze with hardly any effort! We only needed to navigate a few swampy mud sloughs through a winding trail behind the park and voila! we were there! Col. Urinal, Cantseeshit, Spits or Swallows and I waited happily at the Hash Hold for the three walkers, only to be waved back to the trail by Medieval Cowboy. Apparently we had skipped the whole run. What?!

Medieval Cowboy likes to do things in his own, unique way. When setting a trail, he makes sure that the trail does NOT head in an obvious direction following previous markings. For example, a mark will lead you to the bottom of a hill, but the next marks will take you halfway AROUND said hill (so you are gleefully led to believe that you are simply avoiding the obstacle!) but Nooooooo.......once you are partway around the hill, the marks will suddenly veer to one side and take you UP the hill from a most unusual point, only to be led back down the hill in the most obvious direction.

So... having to pretend we had not found the Hash Hold, we were forced to complete the trail of boob and dick checks smattered along the way.

Once we realized that to follow a trail set by a Medieval Cowboy, one had to abandon all previous hashing experiences and trail theory and THINK like a Medieval Cowboy things became much easier.

We came upon the hash hold for our second time and Medieval Cowboy plied us with sour, potent vodka- lemonade before sending us on our way towards more new adventures.

In fact...for those of us running the trail, we even came upon a secret Hash Hold at the Medieval Cowboy's lair...GUINNESS for ALL!!

Forgetting that this Hash Hold was for the FRB's only, we poured the frothy black gold into schooners provided by M.C's bar wench and proceeded to relax, reminiscing about the old days, taking in the cool breeze on our faces, while we settled into comfort on the deck. After the beer was gone and we had shared our stories, it occurred to us that no one else had joined us...that's when Spits or Swallows and I recalled that Medieval Cowboy had taken the walkers on in!

We shook off the drunken pall of laziness and ran back to Timberlea Athletic Field, again (aparently) avoiding most of the trail. The walkers were waiting patiently as we stumbled in for the circle. The hare was down-downed for a job well done, if not at all traditional, and the virgin was down-downed for losing her virginity.

A great time was had by all on the "Last Saturday Hash before Switching to Monday Nights".

On On!
Thick N Creamy